Website Statistics

World's oldest person eats bacon every day so suck it, World Health Organization.


 Susannah Mushatt Jones was officially declared the oldest person in the world earlier this year, winning a difficult competition that depends on staying alive while other people die. She's six years away from beating the world record previously set by Jeanne Calment, who died at the age of 122 years and 164 days. At the tender age of 116, Mushatt Jones lives a good life in Brooklyn, with a positive attitude and comforting routine. Her day begins with eggs, grits, and four strips of bacon, which comes as a surprise after the World Health Organization's boner killer about bacon yesterday.

Yesterday, the WHO (who?) announced the devastating news that bacon and other delicious processed meats cause cancer, but perhaps Mushatt Jones has a special immunity. Still kicking it at 116,  she understands that bacon is one of the only things worth living more than a century for.




Scroll to top